so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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