I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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