Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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