South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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