Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
