Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
