Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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