You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
