brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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