id be glad to
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
