2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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