totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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