just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
