I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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