look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
