their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
