I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
