you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.