Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize