coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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