So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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