i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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