batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
