Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
