its not stalking. its research.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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