The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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