WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
