Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
