Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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