Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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