My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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