i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
