I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
