What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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