why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
