If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have fence marks all over my body
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
