p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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