And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
