absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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