mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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