return my video game
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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