It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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