Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
