I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Your cock deserves a montage
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
