someone threw a dead crab at me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize