we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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