her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everclear isn't food dammit
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
