No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
