She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
