oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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