Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
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Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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