nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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