Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
