I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
