dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize