Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
