ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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