Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
