in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
