More tranny stories later!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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