She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.