who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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