I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize