How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
