He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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