just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
