watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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